Wee in your pants, poo on hand wraps, farting on pads, pants down, boobs out, snot face, thai oil in your vagina.
*Warning!! If you don’t like to read gross things or you are a bit of a stiff then don’t read this*
So over the years of training and fighting i have had some pretty awkward and gross things happen to me. These are things that most people keep to them selves and don’t talk about with others because they can be quite disgusting or embarrassing. People who know me, know i don’t really care about that, so i like to share those things with others haha maybe a little too much info for some people. So I thought i would write a bit of a blog about some of those things. I know that you people out there have probably had a few of these happen to you but you haven’t told anyone about it. So for all the stiff’s out there you should probably stop reading now…..
On more than one occasion i have pee’d my pants in training and in fighting. In training have had the 10kg medicine ball continuously dropped on my stomach and yes a bit of pee came out. In fights i have been Teeped and Kneed in the stomach hard and a bit of pee has come out. Not much i could do about it in the fight so im just happy im already wet and dripping with water from the corner and hope it just blends in haha
2. Poo on hand wraps
I don’t know about other people but i normally get the nervous poo’s before i fight. Sometimes i have already got my hands wrapped and i have to go to the toilet. Not the easiest thing to wipe sometimes especially in Thailand if they only have squat toilets. Yes i have gotten poo on my hand wraps and of course washing your hands isn’t easy when you have wraps on either.
I can go all day without a fart but of course as soon as i get on pads i get the sneaky farts that just happen to go BOOM as you kick the pads. If its loud well everyone hears it and you can’t blame anyone else for it, so your totally busted. Then of course i get blamed for all the other stinky ones the guys do around me. The silent but deadly ones are the ones that slowly seep out and then you can just blame the person next to you haha i like to blame the kids 🙂
4. Pants down
I have had to make weight for a fight before and i have gone to pull my pants down to get on the scales and i have pulled my undies down as well with my pants. Yep full undies down!! I freaked and pulled them back up as quick as i could but god knows who and what people saw. I just acted like nothing happened but i was crying inside.
5. Boobs out
Nothing like flashing your boobs in a fight NOT! i’ve been teeped and had their foot get caught in my sports bra, pulling it down. I could feel it going so i dropped to the ground with it to hold my boobs in, i got an 8 count for it too! After that episode i started to wear two sports bras when i fought just to be safe and then i even started wearing a shirt to fight (actually that was more to hide the evidence of all the chocolate id been eating) but it helped with the boobs out issue too.
6. Snot Face
The good old you have something on your face but no one tells you story! I’ve been training my ass off getting bashed around the ring, covered in water, sweat and well not until you go to the toilet to wet your face do you see a massive boogie! not just hanging out but slightly smeared across your face! Don’t know how the hell that got there but wtf! is it even mine eeeewwww! Also not just limited to training because ive had the same thing happen to me in a fight, wiping your nose with your glove does not get rid of snot, it just smears it across your face.
7. Thai Oil in your Vagina
Your worst nightmare! Like having the nervous poo’s i also have to go wee a trillion times before i fight. Not a good thing when you have been covered head to toe in Thai oil that burns like a mofo. This has happened to me on more than a few occasions, try to pull my shorts and undies down super slow to avoid getting oil on them but it never works 😦 do your wee and then the hard part is trying to wipe without getting Thai oil on the toilet paper. Sometimes it’s not too bad but other times you know instantly that you have a bit more heat down there than is meant to be! Then the next challenge is pulling your undies and pants up without dragging the oil up your leg into your lady bits. Then wham bam thank you maam your vagina is on FIRE!
So those are a few things that come to mind in my crazy Fighter Life and im sure that plenty of people have some similar stories to tell or maybe keep to them selves because they are to gross and embarrassing hahaha!