What is it like to date or to be married to fighter??
This is something I can’t really answer yes I’m married to a fighter but I’m a fighter myself so I can understand and relate to the things my hubby is going through. I always say that I couldn’t date a non-fighter it just wouldn’t work. I need someone to understand what I’m going through, someone who’s been there and experienced it. Those days when you’re so tired and sore and you struggle to get out of bed or those days you’re so frustrated all you want to do is cry. The lead up to fights is an emotional roller coaster. Training can take up all of your time, you live at the gym. The diets, the weight cutting (mood swings galore). Not being able to go out on weekends to parties, functions, family do’s and so on because you have to train. The injuries after fights and the depressing recoveries that can last months on end. The list goes on and on! Saying that there are plenty of men and women who date or are married to fighters and they have never fought and a lot of them have never even trained or stepped foot in a fight gym. This must be super hard for someone who has never experienced the things we go through as a fighter and it would make some of the crazy things hard to understand. I think it would be hard from both sides of the relationship because it’s like your living in different worlds. I have admiration for people that can stick with a fighter because I know we are pains in the ass and fighting is a very selfish sport so that person would have to make sacrifices to be able to help and support their fighting partner.
I’m always writing blogs from the fighter’s perspective so I thought I would ask a few people what it’s like to date/be married to a fighter? This might maybe help those fighters out there that have non-fighter partners to understand some of the things they may be going through. If you want to date a fighter then maybe this might help you to understand what you’re in for and to all the partners of fighters this might let you know that you’re not alone in this crazy life of loving a fighter!
1. How long have you been dating/married to your fighter? And how did you meet? 14 years we met at a mutual friends house. He began training Muaythai Thai with me and took off where I left off.
2. What is your favourite thing about dating/married to a fighter? Watching Frank still inspires and amazes me everyday, the sacrifices he has made to turn his dreams into reality and the determination, accomplishments ect makes him in my eyes a man of genuine character and a man I’ll always admire.
3. What is the hardest thing? Pre fight prep. Planing meals and cutting weight when he does it hard I feel for him so I do whatever it takes to get him ready with minimal stress.
4. What do your friend/family say when you tell them your partner is a fighter? Lol mixed comments but usually it’s wow I know that guy or I wouldn’t want to piss him off.
5. Any tips for other fighter non-fighter couples? Muaythai Thai is a passion not just a sport what drives our fighters to compete comes from their heart so I feel it’s important to support and encourage and inspire confidence but more importantly believe In them and enjoy watching them shine.
1. How long have you been dating/married to your fighter? And how did you meet? Married 6 years in March. We were together about a year and half before that. We met in college. She was running the equipment cage at the gym and i was bored reading a book of 17th century plays. It pretty much went from there. Could not resist her bored expression.
2. What is your favourite thing about dating/married to a fighter? There is nothing like watching, being very close to the person you love growing and changing, and there is little that change a person as much as training to the absolute physical, mental and spiritual limit, and getting into the ring repeatedly and often. It is like watching a personal alchemy. Your wife takes the lead in her heart, in her body, and heats it to an extreme degree, and turns it into gold, over and over and over. People who are not close to the process have no idea. The mental hurdles, the waves of self-doubt that need to be overcome, the physical pain endured simply to train and keep training…it is like being with someone who is climbing a continual Everest. It is one of the most beautiful things in the world to see your loved one do this. It is very inspiring at every level.
3. What is the hardest thing? The hardest thing is the judgment of others, trying to marshal the support of real people that provide real opportunities. Sylvie is a very unusual person, and an usual fighter. She’s not what people expect. Trainers take a long time to realize just how much she is capable of, a long time reading her. They simply haven’t met anyone like her. So in Thailand especially negotiating the training path is a very difficult thing. Trying to overcome cultural gender-bias (which is very subtle, but still strong), provide opportunities for growth –whether it means getting enough clinching or sparring, enough technical correction, enough fights – is a shifting and constant effort of positioning. If you love someone you want the road open for them.
4. What do your friend/family say when you tell them your partner is a fighter? I wish I had great stories about this, but I don’t. My mother is just amazed by Sylvie, and a huge fan – even though not a sports fan in the least. I don’t really have any friends outside of the fight path. Our world is pretty focused. People usually meet me through Sylvie.
5. Any tips for other fighter non-fighter couples? I think couples like this are likely very unique, so it is hard to offer generalized advice. I’ve heard many women who fight complain that they are not supported in their path by their loved one, fully, so that would be a major thing. If you love your partner you really have to love their passion, their process, because that is what they are expressing themselves through. Also I’d add that when they step into that ring that is one of the most beautiful moments in the world. Don’t fear for their injury. Feel for their transformation. That is what they are doing, they are going into the fire to transform themselves, and that is what happens each and every time, they transform themselves. They cannot do it without the risk of injury. Each time they come out of the ring they are a new person. Love who they are becoming, and they will become more.
1. How long have you been dating/married to your fighter? 2.5 years
2. What is your favourite thing about dating/married to a fighter? Watching him fight and watching him grow as a fighter. Knowing that he can protect himself, our son & I.
3. What is the hardest thing? Watching him cut weight. And untangling his wraps haha
4. What do your friend/family say when you tell them your partner is a fighter? They normally say how do you watch it? Don’t you get scared? I love watching him do what loves and trains so hard for. I don’t get scared because I know he can look after himself in there.
5. Any tips for other fighter non-fighter couples? Always fully support your partner’s dreams. Be kind to each other and have each other’s best interests at heart. Be equals-one person shouldn’t rule over the other.
1. How long have you been dating/married to your fighter? We have been together almost 10 years now and married for 3 years already. 1 st saw her at a fight show that she had a fight on and I had a fighter on also. She came to train with me the following week. I couldn’t resist her. Haha
2. What is your favourite thing about dating/married to a fighter? That we have so much in common. As a trainer and gym owner Muaythai really is my life so we know and understand everything about one another.
3. What is the hardest thing? Perhaps that it is very difficult to switch off from Muaythai as when she has a fight on it is 24-7 for us and just sometimes you feel like you need to switch off for rest and recovery.
5. Any tips for other fighter non-fighter couples? To be honest no tips for fighter and non fighter partner as I don’t know from experience. What I do know is that partner must be very understanding and supportive of the sport, the passion and the dedication to training required and being in the gym every night after work. If they’re not is usually results in a break up of the relationship or with Muaythai!!
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